8. But sometimes talking about it doesn't make you feel any less miserable. If you are estranged from your family or they have decided to distance or disown you, it’s important to be aware of your needs. You can do this via email or by letter.

We asked Santa Monica–based family therapist Ashley Graber how she …

Your friend might not want to talk about their estranged relationship. But you can still let them know that you’re there for them, whether they want to talk or not. People in the estrangement process often feel that they are alone.
Robust data is hard to come by, but according to one estimate, as many as 12 percent of mothers are estranged from at least one of their children, with the number even higher for fathers. Letting them know you’re there for them can go a long way. 4.

Sometimes it makes you feel even worse. Create a guest list, develop a menu and make a shopping list.


Given how much we talk to each other about family—in the news, in the movies, in our daily getting-know-each-other small talk, and even in our complaints about holiday disputes—you would think that almost all families are intact, even if there is conflict. Being estranged from family can be really difficult. It’s likely that you’ll feel a collection of emotions towards the distance between yourself and your family: on the bad days you may end up feeling painfully lonely, but on the good days there may be a feeling of overwhelming peace and freedom. As the person who wants to heal a relationship, you’ll need to initiate contact or have an intermediary do it for you. Invite a handful of people to give yourself space to mingle and talk with others. If you’re not estranged from a family member, the odds are decent that you know someone who is. And even when, remarkably, it is not as difficult—when we know our boundaries, have made our choices, and have formed our chosen families—we come up against the narrow cultural expectations that bubble up around, say, holidays like Christmas or Mother’s Day. If the estranged family member does not want to reconnect, respect his wishes and let the relationship go. There’s nothing better than a picnic as a way to reconnect.

3. Host a Family Reunion. Credit: winnond/iStock/Getty Images Plus. When reaching out to estranged family members, have a support network of friends and family in place, and speak to a religious leader or a therapist for extra emotional support. Write a letter asking for the forgiveness of the estranged family member.

Being estranged from family members can make you miserable, especially when you are a grandparent who doesn't get to see your grandchildren. Bond with estranged family over the assortment of food or Cousin Maggie’s new haircut. Don’t push them to reconcile. Step 1 .

You can do this with the help of a therapist or from talking with friends or other family members. How to Cope with Family Estrangement,- Dr. David marriage help and advice.

Initiate Contact. It’s important not to assign blame or to make demands in your correspondence.